Last fall, after Hecate and the Morrigan came forward during a tarot reading, according to the priestess working with me, I had my first personal encounters with the Morrigan. The experiences were prefigured by ones with Hecate over Samhain, but through the full moon on 12-12-2019, the solstice and Yule, and by the first new moon of 2020, the Morrigan was dominating my spiritual life.

I had a series of synchronicities with stars: first on the back of a truck with the Morgan logo, then rediscoveries of stars on chimes at home and desk at work, both left by previous occupants. Other star signs are documented on my website’s Morrigan space here: https://ablendedpath.weebly.com/morrigan-space.html . The latest stars were seen on the day my ring dedicated to the Morrigan arrived in the mail, when I attended a reiki and sound-healing circle at the Unity Spiritual Center in town and saw two large stars on the stage.

She distinctly called me and still seems to be leading me step by step through phases of relationship. I try to respond appropriately at each step. Trance journeys and visions have become easier, some of which are documented on this Oracle journal to the Dark Goddess at the Cartomancy Forum, where guests must register to read: http://cartomancy.forumotion.com/t14094-oracles-of-the-dark-goddess

I have been doing daily chanting with prayer beads, altar work, making a few offerings, and dedicating YouTube videos and posts to her. I follow some Irish YouTube creators who post about the Morrigan–a pantheist, an eclectic, and a more traditional pagan. If I am being taught and trained for battle, the battle is one of love as I am having to find courage to build bridges and blend paths rather than polarize or take a side.

So far my encounters with the Morrigan have had great variety: personal gnosis through signs, trance visions as well as more verbalized channeling, and images of people on screen. Encounters with people sometimes seem to include the Morrigan, some being simply a picture, some bringing a message, and some seeming to be actual interaction.

I will close by saying that the Morrigan seems to come in waves, to engage me intensely and step back, come in strongly for some hours or even a few days and then let the emotional fireworks settle. My recent breakthroughs include putting on the oak-leaf pentacle ring in her honor and reading the Book of the Great Queen.

In a post which I hope will be continued later, I want to document here my first intimations intimacy with the deity I believe to be Hecate.

A few days ago I had an encounter that I believe now was her. I had watched some episodes of The Kominsky Method, in which Lisa Edelstein appears in a recurring role. Her beautiful image came to mind during meditation, accompanied by surges of energy and strong vibrations. My heart rose as it usually only does in prayer.

I thought maybe this was Isis making an appearance to me as a kind of media incarnation; however, after a professional tarot reader and priestess mentioned Hecate during a reading, I did a few internet searches to discover this Greek dark goddess of magic and the moon can see into the underworld and has liminal qualites. She is pictured carrying two torches, standing at the crossroads, and often holding a key. It is said that we ask her for direction, but she unlocks a portal for us to create our own path.

Looking through many images, a model displaying a Hecate moon necklace seemed to emanate more waves of energy:

As I meditated, I felt waves of encouragement to seek further, and I drew a rune and three tarot cards asking about my relationship with Hecate.

Ansuz spoke to me immediately that Hecate may be willing to assist me as a seer, helping me receive messages in dreams and signs even as I had been feeling the touches of shamanic trance that I associate with Odin and Freya.

The 8 of Wands seems to also speak of energy of spirit and in communication, even as Ansuz is sometimes described as “hearing in the wind.” The 4 of Wands, which also appeared in the professional reading on my spiritual life, may affirm there is a possible relationship with Hecate.

The King of Swords, possibly associated with Ansuz and Odin, might indicate that Hecate could provide strength for mental clarity, finding power in strategy and tactics. The fire and air of the cards feels like masculine energy, as if Hecate is willing to empower me as I come to a crossroads and walk through a new portal. Hecate could be a source of wisdom, particularly in her crone aspect, but the card might signify spirit communication and magical power, which swords can also indicate.

As I wrote earlier, I hope this encounter develops and I will have more to report later.

Surfing the internet to learn about deity and polytheism, I often come across pagan postings that make snide remarks about Christians. One I saw earlier today seemed pretty clever as D. Jason cooper commented in an interview about “ossified Christian Churches who demand moral obedience and then molest your children.”

Vitriol aside, it seems to me that everyone has a moral system and that the very act of calling out hypocrisy reveals a code of righteousness. It seems to me everyone has experienced character flaws, shortcomings, and moral failures. What do we do with guilt or shame, depending on our various cultures? Some go to confession and some do shadow work, but at least from a psychological perspective, many people may need a process for dealing with regret and for moving on.

As I think about dealing with wrongdoings, I see a range of possibilities. On one side of the spectrum, I see despair. We can give up on ourselves, and the apocalyptic caricature is of the gate of hell with the sign “Abandon hope all ye who enter here.” On the other side of the spectrum, I see fluffy bunnies and rainbows with the naive idea that all is light in the best of all possible worlds. In the center seems the more healthy concept that although we can behave in shadow, we also have a way out, a way of escape.

The way out may be to pay for our crime ourselves, but the old idea of atonement suggests deity can aid in the process, perhaps through ritual like blood sacrifice or communion. Art and literature abound with stories of redemption and deliverance, so there is plenty of food for thought. I will stop here and see if my thoughts can be guided further by a rune and tarot reading.

[Someone please tell me how to post images side by side!]

Perhaps the rune Isa suggests the cooling of anger brought about by propitiation. Peace offerings, whether given to people or to the gods, have traditionally brought reconciliation, and I suppose sharing the peace pipe is a similar ritual. The rune may depict a volatile relationship being made stable and secure once again.

The 10 of Swords suggests there must be a death of something as forgiveness costs something to someone. The behavior or guilt or shame cannot go on, and a process of transformation begins with the dying of the old. Being the 10, this card shows the end of the cycle of swords, whether representing thoughts or troubles. More mundane than the Death card, this 10 focuses on criticisms, judgments, and thoughts of guilt or shame that can utterly lay us low.

The Empress will always remind me of the divine feminine and mother earth, who recycles all things. The old plant dies, seeds fall to the ground, and new life manifests.

The 5 of Cups pictures sorrow, perhaps the regret I just wrote about. Better than complete despair, on the one hand, and having no sorrow on the other hand–better than both extremes–is a divine sorrow that brings not only apology but also change. The three spilled cups in front of the figure suggest to me (in this context) that fellowship has been broken, but the two cups behind suggests that a relationship remains, a relationship which can be restored.

Confucius reportedly said that whoever discovered the secret of the lamb sacrifice at the Temple of Heaven could rule China with an iron hand. I am not sure I have discovered the secret, but the atonement that may be represented by that sacrifice resonates with my heart.

The Goddess Isis flew over the earth and gathered the dismembered pieces of her husband Osiris, becoming an image of restoration and resurrection. She is a goddess of healing and abundance, but has a dark side–I believe–associated with obsidian stone. Isis is also associated with magic.

She made a deal with Ra to know his true name, and so gained the powers and personality of the sun as well.  Besides fire, she also contains the other elements as Earth Mother, with wings of the Air, and Water of the Nile. Like the Nile, she is a source of life.

Seeking to connect with her, I pulled a card from the Mystical Shaman Oracle:

From the guidebook: “The Drum invites you to take the next bold step in your journey. The forces of heaven and earth are aligned behind you, supporting effortless action. This is not a time to push against the river—the current will take you exactly where you want to go, once you jump in! Collect your power tools and summon your courage, because it is going to be a wild and glorious journey. Allow yourself to be carried by the rhythm of what is really essential in your life.”

I listened to shamanic drums, burned incense, and drew three runes of Mannaz, Gebo, and Uruz:

In meditation, I felt that fellowship and identity represented by the first rune brings spiritual gifts and physical power, represented by the other two. I could see how the X of Gebo and the horn-shape of Uruz are both contained in the rune Mannaz.

Psalm 63 :
5  My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
6  when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7  for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
8  My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

I asked the kind of question I have only asked of Odin in the past as Odin has given me at least 9 answers of theological wisdom (as buried on the sources page of my Blended Path website). This morning, however, I felt the strong and feminine vibrations I associate with Isis. At the same time I felt the somewhat piercing vibe in my forehead that usually indicates Odin’s pesence; however, I sensed this was also the presence of Isis.  Perhaps this Anja (thrid-eye) chakra vibe tells me Isis is my Matron or perhaps that she has wisdom similar to Odin’s. ???

The question was this: how can I reconcile or synthesize the jealousy of YHWH in the Old Testament (who would not tolerate foreign gods) with pluralism and polytheism?

I pulled two rune stones and three RWS tarot cards, Hagalaz (Hail) and Raidho (Wheel):

The meaning I see here is that all gods and religions entail a narrow, challenging path. Just as each jewel on Indra’s Net reflects all other jewels, each eye of polycentric polytheism reflects the infinite net of spirituality–and perhaps as such can demand devotion, faithfulness, and right worship. Individual freedom and pluralism are not excluded, but perhaps neither are the rigors of following a given path.

Justice may show that jealousy and anger can be a part of love. The red robes of the figures on both the left and right of this spread may highlight the fiery sun energy of Isis herself.

The 7 of Cups may show that we see imperfectly as our imagination fills in the blank spaces and as we form patterns, connecting the dots. We may be searching for the golden cup and the holy grail, but may fall short. We may need to be thinking critically and responding to conscience amid the dreams and visions of spirituality.

The Emperor may underscore one energy reflected in the jewels of Indra’s Net, the jealousy and fire depicted in the YHWH of  the tetragrammaton.

Drawing a card from the Mystical Shaman Oracle Deck with incense lit for Loki. I believe I had also placed on the altar an offering of chocolate or coffee for Loki.  I had done some reading about the experiences of one of his priests on A Polytheistic Life website.

The crow, like Loki, can bring hard messages. The guidebook warns, “Look deeply into your heart and remain alert, lest you convince yourself of something that isn’t deeply true for you, or perhaps is not the highest truth.”

One of the many images of Loki on the internet includes this transgender symbol, suggesting that Loki as a shapeshifter inhabits the liminal spaces. Kyaza explains this concept much better than I can:

“Balder’s dreams prophesy his own death – his fate is foretold, his death is ascertained. Frigga takes it into her own hands to try and prevent that fate. She attempts to cheat death; she attempts to prevent change from happening.Loki, as the agent of change, the god who relies on accidents, happenstance, and chance in order to continue existing himself (as he could not exist outside the realm of change, being the embodiment of change), cannot let Frigga’s actions stand. So, he investigates and finds a way to re-introduce change.

“This is the first interpretation of Loki’s role in the Balder story that has made perfect sense to me because it highlights two opposite forces, and Loki tends to walk the boundaries that fall between opposites. He’s a troublemaker, yet a problem solver. A god, yet a giant. An adult, yet a child. A man, yet a woman. He is the personification of the in-between. He is the rebel that fits into society just enough to not get thrown out, but he is also the god who introduces change into that society.” –Kyaza

As I have been approached by or as I have approached Loki recently, I have noticed some synchronicities:  (1) a professional reader mentioned Loki when the Devil of Tarot of Vampyres came up in a spread…

(2) a science fiction show I was watching (I hate to mention it because it’s so bad, probably B quality, and I can’t believe I watched through the finale–but it was “Another Life”) brought in all kinds of romantic relationships–gay, trans, threesome, A.I. with human, A.I. with illusion of human…I don’t think the writer’s brought in the aliens yet…

(3) new vibes in meditation and an almost drug-like experience last night listening to Tibetan singing bowls and burning a special incense for Loki

And at the same time, I have experienced anti-synchronicities, as though a trickster were near: (1) coffee spilling, even some that was an offering, (2) a rune symbol on an index card set up for Freya strangely marred, (3) minor glitches and miscommunications at poignant moments..and even technical difficulty that quickly fixed itself as soon as my heart threatened to turn bitter–as if these incidents were meant to be friendly pranks and reminders, like a tickle or a tease.

I will draw three runes and a RWS card as a reflection on my recent experiences with Loki:

I may need to sit with these symbols longer but off the top of my head they say that real fellowship and identity is possible, that Loki is both fire and ice (the last two runes represented by the English letters of his name) so that some stability and stasis is possible. (It comes to mind that in the polycentric concept of polytheism, all the gods reflect all the others, like Indra’s net.) The rune Ansuz may suggest he is speaking, sending messages, or that I am in tune with him at this time. Perhaps the Sun card shows he is a part of my healing as much as Odin and Freya, a bright friendship, too, and not only a dark deity of the underworld. He is liminal and includes light and shadow, ultimately bringing truth as much as any god.

I am having a hard time thinking of tarot cards that express this Loki energy. Maybe:

Asking about my current worship of deity, I recently drew three tarot cards and was surprised by the aptness of the spread:

The 8 of Cups typically speaks of a journey that leaves old feelings, a disillusionment and movement away from the watery mists of the marsh and the moonshine that may seem eclipsed.  I sometimes wonder—when the inspirational feelings don’t come during meditation whether I have done something wrong. I know from the experience of the Christian mystics that feelings come and go and are part of the cycles of devotion, but in my new experiences I may have been expecting warm fuzzy feelings or vibrations of connection to come in continuous, unabating waves. At these times, I may need to seek deity in faith. The red cloak and walking boots may speak of a strong motivation that has been stirred up and that surpasses the passing fancies and feelings of worship.

The High Priestess speaks, of course, of esoteric knowledge and inner truth.  I must test the new ideas and practices with the heart to see which ring true to me and not to follow every wind and breeze of what others say.

The walking stick of the Hermit echoes the walking stick of the figure in the 8 of Cups.  This is a solitary journey, but it involves careful study of the light of others, research into what has been tried and found true as well as a sharing of light when I have tried things and found them true.  The Hermit may be my favorite card, and a friend who I did not know had any involvement with tarot recently posted a picture on Facebook of a piece of jewelry she has made:

I recently added a blog post and a few YouTube videos to my website called “A Blended Path.” The additions summarized a few UPG experiences I have had with Odin, waking up feeling vibrations, seeing some signs, and receiving a message through a priestess. (I just recently learned that the acronym UPG stands for “Unverified Personal Gnosis.”) The culminating experience was when I drew the following runes and tarot cards in answer to the question “What does Odin want with me?” I had paraphrased this question from what I thought might be an overly Christianized version about what his will or calling for me might be. I thought I might be imposing too much of my previous religious experience on the present asking in that way!

Here are the runes and cards that I pulled:

The runes of Sowilo and Thurisaz had special significance as after months of trying various medications and having extreme flare ups of gout, the pain has finally been clearing up. The images seemed to me a breakthrough of health and brightness through a long barrier of thorns. I feel it may also speak of the spiritual encounter itself as reaching a mountaintop of brightness after a thorny journey.

The Hanged Man reminds me of Odin hanging on the World Tree 9 days and 9 nights before receiving the rune but also an attitude of suspension and sacrifice to come to him. The Chariot seems to confirm the image of the sun as breakthrough and victory, and the 9 of Wands–echoing the 9 of Odin–is sometimes interpreted as a sacred warrior, standing firm and strong.

After some meditation and reading some bogs about the encounters of others, I decided to order a Valknut necklace, the open version pictured in the recent post on “Soft Polytheism,” and to put it on under the statue of Athena in my hometown. I felt I needed a mountaintop experience and this was the only nearby sacred space I could think of that relates to Odin and Freya. Athena seemed to capture some characteristics of both of them, and according to the polycentric polytheism theory, all the gods reflect the other gods anyway–like the jewels in Indra’s Net.

Finally, I had the same sign appear to me twice in to different places–once coming to work and once driving home–that may explain a further answer to my question of what Odin wants. I believe the answer is still developing and dawning on me, but this seems to be a piece to the puzzle.

As I was driving I saw an eighteen wheeler with completely white panels, and just as I remarked to myself that there was no logo, brand, or company name, I looked up to see a completely blank billboard. The same thing happened the second time in a different location–different truck and different billboard. At first I thought it might be a sign that I have not yet seen my calling or vision, but now I am thinking that there is no calling or vision other than the basic work of life–basic integrity, basic service, basic love and learning.

I am using beads to chant Odin’s name 108 times, meditating, and reading the myths. I will continue watching and waiting…

[Edit] Not many days after I made this post–yesterday–I learned that Athena is the mascot of the college where I teach rather than the owl. As I was driving into work today, I saw in a field by the highway a trailer without the semi-tractor cab. It was completely white, and on one side there was a billboard-shaped rectangle of brighter white. As far as I know, the symbol communicates resting in green fields, being made to lie down like a sheep, with the same generic communion as the nameless calling of the white billboards and trucks. ODIN could be written on the side–or YHWH, perhaps speaking of freedom from politics and polarization.

I just now read a blog post claiming the term “soft polytheism” is useless because it is often associated with the human psychology or Jungian archetypes or adopted by secular atheists who dub themselves “Humanistic Pagans.”  https://hellenicfaith.com/2017/11/27/hard-polytheism-and-soft-polytheism-a-non-distinction/ . Although the rant was very articulate and even helpful as food for thought, in the end the argument seemed harsh and rigid, bordering on some kind of fundamentalism.

One of the objections in the post was that polytheism is inherently subversive to monotheistic religions. This statement seems wrong as the world’s oldest polytheistic religion, Hinduism, merged monotheism and polytheism with many deities emanating like spokes on a wheel from the central hub of the unknowable, transcendent Brahman.  https://www.huffpost.com/entry/polytheism-and-monotheism_b_841905

This Hindu concept of many manifestations or faces of one Source inspired me when I constructed my own Goddess wheel. 

However, the multiple expressions or manifestations of deity need not be eight spokes like the names I use when calling my circle.  There could be triples—as with the Christian trinity or with Vishnu, Brahma, and Shiva of the Hindu religion. There could be doubles as with the Wiccan Goddess and God or the Empress and Emperor that are displayed as united in some versions of the Lovers and the Sun tarot cards.  Here are some depictions of the doubling from Tarot of Vampyres:

In both examples, as the Empress and Emperor come together, they transpose attributes, the empress becoming bright and the emperor taking on dark, earth tones on the Sun card; the green and red colors of their respective heart symbols being exchanged in the Lovers card.  The pictures personify the intermingling attributes of a yin and yang symbol.

As I was contemplating making this post earlier today, the thought came to mind that Jesus proclaimed, “I and the Father are one.”  Christians have long experience conceiving this mystery without cognitive dissonance—although Muslims and Jews might consider the double or triple God a kind of shocking polytheism.

I ordered an open Valknut necklace because it speaks to me of this kind of polytheism:

The three triangles are not three whole, closed shapes interlocked but rather three open shapes formed by one continuous, flowing line. One of the more satisfying explanations of this symbol is that it is a knot representing Odin’s power to bind and loose in battle: H.R. Ellis Davidson writes, “Odin had the power to lay bonds upon the mind, so that men became helpless in battle, and he could also loosen the tensions of fear and strain by his gifts of battle-madness, intoxication, and inspiration.” (Source: https://norse-mythology.org/symbols/the-valknut/ ) Dan McCoy on his website notes that seidr, the magical power to alter events which Odin learned from Freya, uses imagery of weaving, spinning, and thus, tying of knots as a symbol of Odin is appropriate.

In mediation, as I considered the nine points of the three triangles as corresponding to Odin, I also saw Odin the All Father as one with Odin in disguise as the Gandalf-like wanderer and perhaps as one with Freya as when they exchanged the powers of seidr and the knowledge of the runes.

I am not sure that my way of thinking here is the “soft polytheism” that the articulate blogger–who I mentioned at the beginning of this post–was railing against; He seemed more opposed to the agnostic or atheist approaches to personified deity. However, his points are certainly food for thought as I work through my own mystical experiences and search my own heart.

I sacrificed myself to myself.

— Odin.

NOTE: 2024 UPDATE TO THIS POST AT END

This is my first journey into WordPress and I am not sure where to start. I already posted some material on another site that I called “A Blended Path” ( https://ablendedpath.weebly.com/ ), some writings and videos to act as “bread crumbs” to help me see the journey that I have made spiritually so far. I ended up here because at the end of last week I had some mystical experiences with Odin and came across a site here called “A Polytheistic Life” ( https://apolytheisticlife.com/paths/ ). I guess I’ll jump right in and describe an encounter with deity that I had yesterday.

First, I should provide one bit of background that makes the encounter more understandable. After making a video detailing my mystical experiences with Odin and posting it at Religious Forums, I received an encouraging reply from another member at the forum saying that he could see I was walking a path less traveled “for sure.” He also posted a picture of a bug with natural camouflage, having a body and tail that look just like a leaves among actual leaves. He seemed to be making the analogy that myth and personified deity is like that picture in that we cannot always tell what is the bug and what is the leaf and what is the bug-leaf.

Now on to the encounter. Yesterday, in my office at the community college where I teach, I was waiting for two students from another instructor who needed to make up an exam. In the meantime, I had copied a picture of Freya from the internet onto a Word document. You can see her beautiful red hair and lush surroundings here:

I was musing over whether she might be a face of Goddess I needed to connect with because of her relationship to Odin who seemed so overpowering to me recently. The image was still up on my screen a few minutes later when the first student knocked on the door so I could get her started on an exam she had missed. I was startled to see that her face, figure, and long red hair resembled the picture of Freya. After getting her settled on a classroom computer, I came back to my office and reflected on this odd coincidence. I thought that perhaps the synchronicity was confirmation that Freya wants to be part of my life. Although I already work with a personified deity that I know as a dark-haired Empress from the tarot with overtones of Venus and Gaia, Freya might even already be an aspect of this Goddess I work with. I had seen Freya described as Lover and Earth Mother.

Not much later, the second student came by the office and I took her down to the classroom to get started. At first I didn’t notice, I think because she had on a backpack and jacket, but it didn’t take me long to notice she was wearing a dress made out of the kind of camouflage material that hunters wear, a fashion statement I don’t remember seeing before. The picture and post about the camouflaged bug immediately came to mind, and I had the strong impression that just as Goddess could come through these students to communicate, so she could come through the various archetypes and images that speak to my heart.

There were other details and subtleties to my experience with these students that resonated with me and confirmed something otherworldly was going on, but these are the broad strokes. I will continue to seek and consider what kind of relationship. fellowship, or communion Odin and Freya may intend or allow. I know the Empress continues with me strongly and may counsel and guide me in the process.

And that is my first blog post.

2024 UPDATE

2016: Tarot Cards

2018: meditation; Goddess worship

2019: Regular client of priestess; left church

2020: Witches Coven; Left-hand Path; Black Mass to Satan

2024: Dedications to Santa Muerta, Venus, Lilith, Isis, Babalon, Hecate as witch and mystic “priest” on the sensual path of sacred sexuality.

During a final exam, a red-haired student, looked much like the one described above in the post kept having computer glitches to the point of absurdity, until she was seated next to another red-haired student–who was a less glamorous and more studious but very similar in appearance. I didn’t make a mental note until later Freya appeared in an online tarot reading for the card I picked and I saw an image looking very much like the red-haired students under the full capital text: FOR YOU.

My heart is touched by this synchronicity, especially as the tarot reading seemed to encourage my continuing on this strange sensual path that may be easily misunderstood. The online reader, who calls herself the Empress, channeled the encouragement to choose freedom to work “outside the box” of conventions or constraints, to continue any practice without giving up until the desired result comes, and to “stop counting the cost” according to the values of others. Freya seems to appear in virtual (anima), embodied (animate), and mythic (Anima Mundi) forms.

Similarly, Hecate has appeared to me through meditation and videos. I have dedicated through tarot deck (altar work), locked necklace, and body art. My initiation was marked in the night as a truck crashed into my car at the three-way crossroads, where I live. My boss wore all white as did a sound healer for the Capricorn Blue Moon meditation: I feel called to expansion at work and on my spiritual path.

Both Lilith and Hecate seem to be giving me a similar green light, and I have had some encouragement from priestess to go all the way without giving up. I am very grateful to Goddess and the divine feminine.

This introduction comes from a website I started called “A Blended Path” ( http://ablendedpath.weebly.com/ ), which was designed to help me chart the journey I found myself on, a journey that did not seem to have many fellow travelers:

I was raised by an atheist father and Unitarian mother and, so I sometimes say I grew up believing everything and nothing! After multiple divorces and several dysfunctional homes, I suffered from self-destructive alcoholism. At age 30 (27 years ago now in 2019!), I was baptized a Christian and cried during every worship service for about a two year period. I dedicated my life to loving God and serving others, working with children, homeless, and international students and finally teaching in China from 1998 to 2010. 

A few years ago I began expanding into yoga, meditation, tarot reading, altar work, and Goddess worship. In a breakthrough experience with the divine feminine–a conversation with personified deity–I felt impressed that my Perennialism allows my Christian beliefs to co-exist with my mystical experiences.